Youre the problem Janelle – she said.
Those words you never want to hear but probably need to.
A memory popped up on my phone today, it showed the moment when Johnny my 6 year old lab, finally accepted Daphne the chocolate lab puppy.
It had been a month of turmoil. John wanted to kill this tiny little chocolate floof. Daph didnt sleep, she cried all night, the two had to be seperated at all times for Daphnes saftey, and I was a bundle of nerves an exhaustion.
We enlisted the help of a dog trainer who came to our house and said “Janelle, youre the problem here”
Me? Who had been trying so hard to get these two to like each other.
Me? Who was at my wits end trying to keep each on feeling safe and loved?
She said “You’re terrified of Johnny hurting Daphne. You and Johnny are so connected, he picks up on your fear and therefore protects you from the puppy. You’ll need to reign yourself in, or get someone else to handle this transition.
Dan, my husband said “Babe leave them out here with me. I will watch them. You go do something else.”
I was terrified… what if he didnt watch them properly? What if Daphne got seriously hurt?
I eventually stepped away and they fell in love pretty quickly.
Me, the one who wanted more than anyone else in the house for it to all work out, was also the one stopping it from working out.
The big lesson in this that I wanted to share with you?
Focus on regulating your damn self.
There is no skipping over this step.
You are the energetic holder of the home and all relationships in it.
The way you show up effects every space you’re in and the way people react to you.
Self regulation tools, learning how to surrender, becoming self aware wll create positive changes in every area of your life.
Are you ready to learn how?
Link on my home page to work with me