This morning I let go of something that has been weighing on me heavily for years.
In March 2020, we got the news that all events were cancelled indefinitely due to the most offensive C word I’ve ever heard.
Cue instant panic for our household.
We were running an events company that we worked tirelessly to build.
We had nine events scheduled that weekend, all due to pay their final balance on the day.
Days before, we had spent close to six thousand dollars on supplies for the upcoming busy season. Now there was no season! No money coming in, indefinitely.
As the extended event ban grew longer and longer, our hope slowly diminished.
We had worked so hard for five years to build the business to a point of reward, continually buying more supplies – constantly growing.
We were ready to cash in all that hard work. Our payday was coming…. it didn’t!
We ended up not being able to operate our business for 24 months. Over this time, we accessed $40,000 from our super accounts. We lost in excess of $450,000 in lost revenue. (I’m actually too scared to do the exact figures)
After those months, we decided we just couldn’t do it anymore.
The passion was gone, we were exhausted.
The plot twist !
As the pandemic hit, I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I would typically send flowers or create food hampers for those struggling, but our income had stopped completely. It didn’t feel safe to spend money like I used to. I was living in scarcity.
I had been training in psychic development for a few years and bravely followed a nudge to offer free readings as some form of hope for those struggling. The readings were epic!
They were well received and I loved giving them, so I began offering a paid version. I took the ball and ran with it, creating a profitable, feel-good business. This wasn’t an easy step to come out of the spiritual closet!
I built a business that heals, inspires and activates other humans. A business that is thriving to this day.
But here’s what I haven’t been able to do:
Replace the income that we lost.
Pay off the debts that accrued since 2020.
Replace our savings that dwindled whilst we were transversing all of this.
Feel like I’m getting ahead financially
I’ve been feeling the weightiness of failure.
I have placed so much pressure on myself to do all of this, that I stopped looked at what I have done.
I felt that I needed to achieve all of the above for my work to be worthwhile.
To be sustainable.
To make it count.
To conquer the lesson.
Not knowing that the lesson is the personal growth I’ve witnessed in myself, my husband, my children.
Today I let go of my expectations, and allowed the actual lesson to sink in.
I look back at what I have achieved over the past four years,
My family is rock solid.
My marriage feels renewed and so spicy! Deeply connected to each other.
My children are thriving.
I love who we are.
I love who I am.
Over the past almost four years I have:
Cofacilated community events
Run womens circles
Mediumship shows in front of crowds
Readings on mainstream media.
Trained many psychic mediums.
Coached women to change their lives.
Created a podcast that has been downloaded 25,000 times.
Healed my debilitating anxiety.
Accessed parts of myself that I didn’t know existed.
Slowed down to truly be present in my life, witnessing the small pleasures that really are the big things.
I’ve found my joy.
Up until this morning, I had been getting lost regularly, in what I hadn’t be able to do. Berating myself for failing to hit those markers. I forgot to witness all I have done, which is far more valuable than the monetary amount I placed on my journey to make it worthwhile.
My entire world feels lighter because of this realisation, the final puzzle piece to this valuable lesson has landed.
Forever grateful for this messy journey we call human life.
I love you, I see you.
Keep going.
Much love,
Janelle
