My loves,
Something has shifted within me so deeply this week, and I want to share it with you all.
As you know, my connection with Source runs deep. I turn to Her for comfort, warmth, kindness, and strength. I ignite the Goddesses to give me direction. I honour the support that flows from the Divine Feminine essence at the heart of Source.
But I’ve long resisted the idea that the Divine Masculine has a role to play in Source. I saw the masculine only through the lens of the human: hustle, push, protect, provide, make shit happen. I leaned on Source as a place to retreat, to restore, to be nourished and stroked back to life.
Yet recently, I’ve been brought home to the knowing that the Divine Masculine makes up an equal half of Source’s energy. We are protected and provided for by unseen forces. I know this in my bones—I had an army of angel men rebuild my home when everything collapsed. Still, I’ve argued with Source, clinging to the belief that everything I need, I must fight to get.
What I’ve uncovered beneath this is a deep God wound.
Because the “God” we have been shown came with limitations, conditions, and judgement.
Because in this lifetime, I have been told consistently that the work I do is demonic—that I’ll go to hell for channelling Spirit, using tarot, and weaving magic. Insanity right?
And you know me…. rules – don’t know her. Never will.
But values – I have them in spades and my work is deeply rooted in my values – freedom, love, joy, healing, compassion.
I carry the memories of lifetimes where I was burnt at the stake, drowned in the ocean, and cast out from society for serving Source in ways that didn’t fit the church’s story. I’ve been shown them in detail this week, and I’ve been shown where this God wound has been showing up in my marriage.
I held the word “God” in contempt. Do you?
Because he was used to exclude, to punish, to reject my LGBTQIA brothers and sisters.
Because I saw the abuse of power in churches, communities turning away those in need, shaming them for sin.
Because the word of God has been twisted into a weapon.
Organised religion is not for me—and never will be. But I am being called to honour this wound.
To explore what it means to be held, protected, and provided for by the Divine Masculine counterpart of the Source I already love so deeply.
To allow my feminine essence to surrender into unseen provision.
To see “God” as he was truly intended: all-seeing, all-knowing, all-providing. Not judgemental. Not punishing.
But an eternal presence within us, ignited regardless of the stories humanity chose to write around Him.
My soul released the deepest exhale with this remembering.
I am safe, I am protected and I am provided for and so are you.
Finally the true safe homecoming of my own divine feminine essence, without stipulation on what others around me are doing, without stipulation of needing xyz to feel safe enough to soften.
The great exhale.
Forever changed, forever learning.
Forever softening into remembering.
Much love,
Janelle
